A Question for Falcon Development:

[Lord Scooter]

Wait! How can eternity incarnate have a parent? Does that mean that you created eternity? Does that mean you’re the creator of the fundamental laws of the universe!?! What is this paradox?

[Silverleaf]

(I don't dude you created it haha) Page 397 of Devious Cult 101. 'If one says they are the parent of Krampy, do not question them or think about it too much'

[Lord Scooter]

Our first ever “class” will be happening soon to all eager participants, but not until Monday—I do a lot of soul searching on the weekends. I mean my own soul by the way; not other people souls!

[Silverleaf]

Yup! It'll be all about how to tie up sacrifice! Wait, no, I mean, how to bake cookies! Yeah! We love cookies!

[Lord Scooter]

Tell all your friends about us, and be sure to follow us on Tiktok and Instagram. We’re still recruiting if you know anyone who might be interested—we need more people so we can have some actual eerie chanting going on instead of that old cassette we currently use.

Our rituals—I mean mixing—always goes well until we have to fast-forward it and flip it, then we have to start all over again because we lose the soul—SOLE purpose of the cooking class!

We’re sacrificing um… Eggs, for the, uh, cookie dough by the way—not people. The chanting is a cassette that makes—makes… chicken noises! To help the eggs relax, so they ease into the batter better. If you know anyone who can make good chicken clucking noises, send them our way!

[Silverleaf]

Hey! My ,east faviorte uncle can make chicken noises! (And is extra large, if the Beaky Alter is really hungry, if you know what I mean..)

[Lord Scooter]

All right, we need a plan now:

*whispering* We need to catch him unawares—and make certain he has his credit card with him. Which of our methods do you think? Is he immune to tranquilizers? Do you think we’ll have to stoop to plan italic potato chip? Or would flying cucumber be better?

[Silverleaf]

*whispering also* Hes pretty tricky. I know this sounds crazy but.. what if we do the transquelizer cucumber?

[Lord Scooter]

*still whispering* The only problem is that if he’s large, tranquilizer cucumber might not work for getting him out unseen. We might have to use complacent spaghetti noodle for the exit part of the plan...

[Silverleaf]

*continues whispering* we haven’t used the complacent spaghetti noodle in years! Are you sure we can do this?

[Silverleaf]

*does some more whispering* though, anything to get rid of Uncle Ukulele..

[Lord Scooter]

*no longer whispering* We can do this. I’ll meet you there tonight… The rest is up to you.

[Silverleaf]

Yes sir. What time exactly? 1:30 AM is when he usually eats 30 burgers straight. Literally nothing can stop him when he’s eating- and he can’t stop eating the burgers. Let’s hope the Great Beaky Mask is in our side..

[Lord Scooter]

What is he like before vs after he eats them? Does it empower him, or does he get sluggish afterward? (And is he part sumo wrestler or something? Related to Wario perhaps?)

[Silverleaf]

After he eats them, he gets very sluggish. And yes, his mother was a sumo wrestler, his father Wario. So.. obey Wario, destroy Mario. Hey, didn’t we, uh, give sack of money Mario a couple months ago? Or was that Champ? Maybe Clay or Peril.. no, that’s not it.. Harry Potter? Who did we sack of rice last again?