Lord Scooter
Blue Heart
Also known as Lord Galax. Scooter is the name of the cat in my profile picture.
Posts: 3,606
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Post by Lord Scooter on Mar 31, 2024 1:36:21 GMT -5
I ban you because I don't know. I could see signs perhaps of her liking me, but I want to be certain I'm not reading the wrong thing about that, and I'm not making it up instead.
Okay, it's hard though; I'm not worried anymore about whether or not someone likes or doesn't like me in the same way I was, but now I have the dilemma of that I now kind of like three people, and I don't know who I like the most. I like different things about each of them, so I really don't know who I would want to pursue. I'm not sure quite what to do about that, but I don't really need advice on that matter - that advice would be hard to give without knowing the people themselves.
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🐱Quiet🐱
Friendship Rank 4
Anyone heard of Lee DeWyze? "Sweet Serendipity" and "Stone" are super good
Posts: 625
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Post by 🐱Quiet🐱 on Mar 31, 2024 7:11:03 GMT -5
I ban you bc sounds rough. Glad you had a fun time though. Yeah, I don't really know what constitutes as a date either. I had a guy I spent lunch with almost every day in my sophomore year, but we never did anything other than that. I couldn't tell whether he liked me or if I liked him, or if we both just liked each other's company as friends. I do seem to be somewhere on the asexual spectrum though, so I don't really have much way of knowing XD and the guy did turn out to be the complete opposite of me in terms of beliefs, so I no longer like him if that's what it was in the first place, but yeah. Long story short, I think I get it, if that helps. I obviously don't get everything about your experience, that would be a bold assumption, but I have been in a similar one I believe
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🌿 ~ Spottedleaf ~ 🌿
Red Heart
I am Spottedleaf. If I'm not here, check the WC:UT forum. I'm always there.Link is on my profile
Posts: 20,133
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Post by 🌿 ~ Spottedleaf ~ 🌿 on Mar 31, 2024 11:36:03 GMT -5
I ban you because I've been in a relationship for 8 years and I still don't really know what you can define as a "date." That can be different for everyone.
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Lord Scooter
Blue Heart
Also known as Lord Galax. Scooter is the name of the cat in my profile picture.
Posts: 3,606
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Post by Lord Scooter on Mar 31, 2024 12:12:20 GMT -5
I ban you because I really don't know... I won't be so bold as to assume it was or wasn't a "date". Honestly, the only reason why it matters that much to me is because I do like her, but I also like someone else too.
It just becomes an inner debate of "I like these things about this person, but I like this about the other person. The one person I can relate to more, but I really like this person's personality. What if I go for someone, but I end up thinking about the other person more? I don't want my thoughts to be disloyal in any way."
I think I could be happy with any of them, but I don't know who I would be happiest with, and who would be happiest with me. I don't know what they might think of me. It's just a dilemma, because I sort of like all of them, and who I like most changes daily... 😅
I'll take it over my previous concerns of worrying about whether or not I'm good enough for someone. At least my current crisis isn't filling me with anxiety.
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Catsquid
Green Heart
My avatar was beautifully drawn by phantasm!
Posts: 6,125
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Post by Catsquid on Mar 31, 2024 12:12:32 GMT -5
I ban you because I've never been good at defining it either. I went out to eat with my boyfriend for Valentines' Day, and that was definitely a date... but what about if we're out and just stop somewhere to eat? Does that count as a date? Probably not, I think it mostly depends on intention.
I think things will become clearer with time, Scooter. As you get to know them better, you'll probably learn a lot. Maybe one of them is cooler than you thought, or maybe you'll realize one of them wouldn't really work with you after all. Even if they're already close friends, I'm sure there's still plenty to learn and there's a lot that could still happen.
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Lord Scooter
Blue Heart
Also known as Lord Galax. Scooter is the name of the cat in my profile picture.
Posts: 3,606
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Post by Lord Scooter on Mar 31, 2024 15:00:58 GMT -5
I ban you because yeah, it'll just take time to figure out. Getting to know them better, and figuring out whether or not whoever might be a good mix for me. You never know; could easily end up with none of them in the end - who's to say? The answer will only come with time, and that's all I can really think to say about it; until then I can just enjoy being friends with them.
Oh yes, and happy Easter everyone!
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Blue
Friendship Rank 4
I've got modder's block AAAAAAAAH
Posts: 612
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Post by Blue on Mar 31, 2024 23:36:11 GMT -5
I ban you because yes...it's not just happiness, it's stability and compatibility. For the latter, you really can't figure that out right now. "Hey Anna, do you want kids? " would just be very creepy. Just be observant and logical, and take things slow. And remember, you might like them, but they might not feel the same way-so that will further limit things. I'd say it's a date if it was romantic, or just some time spent between a romantic couple, and just them two. It's generally best to take things slow and not label things as dates right away. I remember going to hang out with a guy, thinking it was platonic...he asks me out and then he SAs me. Women can just get spooked easy regarding men, especially if they have past trauma, so please be careful. Happy Easter!
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Lord Scooter
Blue Heart
Also known as Lord Galax. Scooter is the name of the cat in my profile picture.
Posts: 3,606
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Post by Lord Scooter on Apr 1, 2024 0:33:18 GMT -5
I ban you because I've got everything under control. I'm certainly not giving anything any labels here - I don't assume things like that, that's not what I meant by me wondering. It's kind of a hard thing for any of you to speculate about, considering none of you know her, let alone our conversation. I saw no sign of any sort of trauma - nor did I say anything that could have provoked any. Kind of the opposite actually; we instead had a good chat about how both of us have about only one guy friend (me being hers), but she said that's because a lot of men up here mainly like to talk about hunting and stuff, and have no similar interests to her - nothing to do with trauma; in fact she likes to exclude me from that by acknowledging that I am a gentleman instead! We had a good chat about chivalry then, and that added to solidifying that I'm very aware of what too far is when it comes to being nice. 'Twas a bit of a feather in my cap that conversation; I know what I'm doing, and when not to do it.
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🌿 ~ Spottedleaf ~ 🌿
Red Heart
I am Spottedleaf. If I'm not here, check the WC:UT forum. I'm always there.Link is on my profile
Posts: 20,133
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Post by 🌿 ~ Spottedleaf ~ 🌿 on Apr 2, 2024 4:27:54 GMT -5
I ban you because I'm still awake at almost 4:30am.
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Lord Scooter
Blue Heart
Also known as Lord Galax. Scooter is the name of the cat in my profile picture.
Posts: 3,606
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Post by Lord Scooter on Apr 2, 2024 11:03:16 GMT -5
I ban you because oof! But kind of relatable actually; I had trouble falling asleep last night, so I actually did finally about 3.
Okay, so separating the previous question from the actual subject into just a philosophical debate; what does make something a date?
Obviously if it's romantic, that goes without question, but one can still have a date without making it romantic. Not all relationships are overly romantic, but people can still date all the same.
I guess that just depends on the individual(s) then...
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Catsquid
Green Heart
My avatar was beautifully drawn by phantasm!
Posts: 6,125
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Post by Catsquid on Apr 2, 2024 11:11:21 GMT -5
I ban you because I do think it depends. But also, what if you do something romantic that's just the two of you, but it's not very "fancy" or "official"? Like, does a "Minecraft date" count as an actual date? But like you said, it doesn't have to be super romantic for it to count... so does just hanging out with your partner/someone you're interested in count?
Google says that a date is "pre-planned at least to some degree, and the intent is romantic." So I'd assume that that means you're at least interested in each other, even if you're not big on romance.
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Lord Scooter
Blue Heart
Also known as Lord Galax. Scooter is the name of the cat in my profile picture.
Posts: 3,606
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Post by Lord Scooter on Apr 2, 2024 11:29:11 GMT -5
I ban you because I suppose it's a confusing thing to find a definitive answer to, considering that the word date kind of has two meanings.
You can have an actual date date, with it being romantic and all, but as you said, you could be so much as a Minecraft date, and it's still a "date". Parents set up playdates for there kids, but that ain't romantic - it's just kids getting to have fun with their friends.
I guess a date being romantic or not romantic just depends on the intention. Looking at my dinner date for example; we met up, got food, and talked for nearly three hours about our fantasy stories and each other - all typical date stuff. As far as the definition of the word goes, it could have been - but once again it depends on the intention.
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🐱Quiet🐱
Friendship Rank 4
Anyone heard of Lee DeWyze? "Sweet Serendipity" and "Stone" are super good
Posts: 625
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Post by 🐱Quiet🐱 on Apr 3, 2024 9:47:11 GMT -5
I ban you bc that makes sense
Also, Spot, my mom's coming to Tennessee for a writing conference thing
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🌿 ~ Spottedleaf ~ 🌿
Red Heart
I am Spottedleaf. If I'm not here, check the WC:UT forum. I'm always there.Link is on my profile
Posts: 20,133
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Post by 🌿 ~ Spottedleaf ~ 🌿 on Apr 3, 2024 23:52:47 GMT -5
I ban you because that's cool. What part of Tennessee is she going to?
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🐱Quiet🐱
Friendship Rank 4
Anyone heard of Lee DeWyze? "Sweet Serendipity" and "Stone" are super good
Posts: 625
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Post by 🐱Quiet🐱 on Apr 4, 2024 11:12:43 GMT -5
I ban you bc I think it's in Nashville?
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