Space to Rant about Stupid Stuff

[siski]

The title, humans. Jerkface Cats, Dumb Goats, Little Sibilings, Family Crap, etc. COME HERE TO RANT! Judgement-Free Space ^^

[xSourGrapesx]

I've been working at a fast food establishment for almost four years, and have been promoted to management within the last year: 
We have a new employee, I am 18, employee is almost 30.. He acts like a teenager, can never be wrong, constantly tries to humiliate me, argues anything, isn't great at his job, ect. Work is my escape from personal problems, I don't really have any friends, family has either moved away, few live in my hometown. Of those few, one might have kidney failure, other driving themselves to liver failure. All I have other than that is my fiance. 

Employee blew up on me, said I never do anything, despite the fact I am constantly running around in the kitchen where I work, often sacrificing a food break for getting more things done as I do the night shift. Employee's girlfriend(a manager like myself)obviously defends his dumb butt..had to message boss, write up employee all in hopes the guy will stop being so disrespectful. That happened last night. I work with him later today, am super stressed out about it, all that fun stuff. Like, what do I do? What do I do? 

[siski]

That sucks.

[siski]

I'm not good with being a social human who can talk to others, and I'm also kinda lonely. My girlfriend moved across the country and my only other friend in the LGBT community ALSO lives across the country. I also own a lOt of animals, and I feel like I'm just going to kill and eat them all. Not my dogs, guinea pigs, and rats though. My neighborhood stray cat also got hit by a car, and he was basically my cat. My mom just didn't want him inside the house. My actual pigs also ate my baby rooster (parrot) alive.

[86]

My girlfriend broke up with me a while ago, but I'm still really bummed about it. She was also my only gateway to having other friends too, and since we broke up, I've lost those friends, and I don't interact with them anymore. We both said we could remain friends, but we haven't talked to each other since.

I want to find someone new, but I don't have the courage to approach and talk to someone.

I've just kinda feeled disconnected with the world recently. In the morning, I can barely find any reason to get out of bed other than avoiding being yelled at my parents, and my mind is constantly pestering me, telling me that everyone at school would be a lot happier with me gone, and honestly, I can agree with it.

The only reason I'm still happy is because I have people on discord and on the forums to talk to.

Oh, and at 11 pm Wednesday, I got a pointy, toothpick-shaped piece of glass shoved through my foot when I was trying to get up from the floor after trying to get my cat out from under the bed. It hurt like a buttcheek on a stick, and I had to clean up the blood and put a bandaid on the source of the flow all by myself while avoiding being noticed by my parents as I hopped around the house.

I'm also still self-conscious about my body. I have too much fat on my belly, my face looks like a frog's, my hair looks like an ungroomed dog's, and like my grandma says, I probably look like an orphan.

I also have to live in constant fear of disappointing my parents with my bad grades and getting my electronics, my only form of escape, taken away from me at any given moment due to a slight slip-up.

Everything sucks and I hate it. I wish things could just be easier.

Oh, and to add, I have a truckload of schoolwork to do and I really don't want to do it.

[DragonForest]

My friend, who even though we having been talking as much lately, didn't invite me to her birthday party and I know that sounds pretty stupid, but it still really hurts because I though we were good friends. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about this because they'll think I'm being immature. To make matters worse, today IS her birthday and all of the people going to her party wouldn't stop talking about it and every time they started to talk about it, I just looked down at my feet and tried to ignore what they were saying. I mean, if your talking in front of the one friend you didn't invite, don't you feel the slightest bit guilty for making them feel bad about them self? I'm already pretty self-conscious, I constantly worry about whether people like me or not. Do people talk about me behind my back like they do with everyone else? Do they find me annoying and just keep me around because I have so few friends and feel bad? I only have two school friends who I know are my ACTUAL friends.
Whenever I try to talk to my friend and her friend group, I'm always forced outside of the circle even if it's unintentional. They almost always ignore me if I try to talk to them. They never invite me to anything and then always talk about all the fun things they do outside of school right in font of me. Everyone made A HUGE deal of my friend's birthday, they didn't do this for ANYONE but her. One of the two friends I know are my friends birthday is soon and I know without a shadow of a doubt, nobody is going to make a big of a deal as they did over my other friend. They've been talking about it all week, they are calling it "Her-name-here Day" and she even made this thing she put outside her locker that was a sheet of paper reminding you it was her birthday. It had these strips of paper you could take to remind you of her birthday. My friend always says that she isn't popular, HA!
I've been falling behind in school with a heck of a lot of C's on my report card lately and I' scared that I won't be in the advanced classes again next year. My mom says that I'm not trying, but I am! I always go through the day, reminding myself to do homework and then when I get home, I remember some of the time, but I can't bring myself to do it.
Also, on a lesser note, MYFREAKINGTVCHANGEDITSSTUPIDSETUPANDIT'SREALLYANNOYINGWHATTHEHECCCCCKKK

[siski]

I feel misunderstood in my house. I feel like I have schizophrenia but I'm nervous to bring it to my therapist (depression & Asburgers) I just feel cold and empty, and sometimes I'm a bit.... nice to my little brother, and other times I feel like throwing him out a window or pretending he doesn't exist. I know that I'm weird with my movements, too. For example, when I'm running or walking, I'll do a little skip and continue. My arm also twitches a bit. I hate people in general, just socializing makes me want to puke. I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning anymore. I can't focus on ANYTHING. Heck, my house could be burning down and I sit down and start reading. I used to be top of the class, but now I'm just far behind. And I've been frowning for so long it hurts to smile. AND Insomnia issues.

[animalliterature]

I do a lot of stuff online and I'm basically a slave to electronics, which means I am on social media very often and meet very many people. When I was younger, I'd say about eight and in third grade, I was playing Roblox and met two new friends: Flower and Claw--those were their nicknames we used. Mine was Animal. Anyway, in third grade I wasn't as invested in electronics and spent a lot of time outside, but I did check on my friends every now and then and sometimes--though rarely--played games with them. I remember we'd become such good friends that we had revealed our ages. Flower and I were the same age and Claw was 10. I also remember Claw feeding us a story that she had been removed from her family and placed with her "evil" aunt and cousins and they had abandoned her and she was currently living in a house that had an eviction note, blah, blah, blah. It was stupid, but being naive eight-year-olds, we believed it.

The next year, over summer break, I get a message saying from Flower that Claw hasn't been online for a long time. I decide to do some research and see why Claw was gone. It appeared that she was just on a hiatus, and I was right. But looking back on all of the chats, I saw one I hadn't used, but Claw and Flower had. Claw had told Flower--for no reason--that she wouldn't be her friend anymore and Flower started to freak, but Claw said it had just been a joke {a cruel one, at that} and Flower left, saying that she was crying very hard, that Claw was a jerk, and that now she needed to eat candy to make herself feel better. This alarmed me and even though the chat has been deleted, I still remember it word for word, basically power-washed into my brain. It was basically the first sign that I recognized that Claw was one of the worst people I've ever met.

I spent that year making a closer bond with Flower and consoling her whenever she thought of Claw. She and Claw had been very close--I was obviously a third wheel, and whatever she talked about confused me, as I had never seen those chats or played those games. Anyway, Flower and I became best friends and began talking through Amino as well, using voice recordings to make sure we were both children and neither of us were creepy old man stalkers. We still haven't revealed our faces though--but I have revealed my shoes and she has revealed her hair...

But all of that came to a screeching halt when Claw decided to come back. Flower was super hyped and I remember her typing in all caps "ANIMAL CLAW'S BACK" and adding me to a chat where Claw explained that she had had brain cancer, couldn't remember much about our chats, and it had taken her a full year to recover. I was a little suspicious and still disliked Claw for being such a jerk to Flower, but Flower started fussing over her. One day Claw also showed us her YouTube account. I don't know if it was fake and someone else's, but she had a complete family with a father, mother, and little brother. Red flags were waving. Claw was clearly fake and a bully. Fact #1: She had said she was removed from her family and had two female cousins and an aunt that she now lived with who had abandoned her in a ruined house, when in her YouTube videos, she had a perfectly normal home and perfectly normal family--two parents and a little brother. Not an aunt and two cousins. Fact #2: She had told Flower they were not friends anymore. It may not seem so bad, but it was a jerk move. Fact #3: Recovering from brain cancer doesn't take a full year.

At that time I was also depressed and confessed it to Flower--not knowing she had also added Claw to that particular chat. Flower was very concerned and told me it would be okay, asked why, etc. Claw didn't answer, but it was clear she had understood. A few days later, I confronted her about being a mentally abusive cyber bully and guess what she told me? "Ki// yourself, female pup!" and by that she meant "Kill yourself, b****!" if you didn't know. I immediately left every chat with her and unfriended her and the next day I learned Claw had left again and had called everyone she knew on Roblox "female pup," including Flower.

Flower was very sad, but I comforted her and held myself together at the same time. I didn't tell anyone else about the situation for a long time, but after telling Flower over the summer break before fifth grade, I felt more confident that I could. Still, I kept it a secret from those who might act upon it and acted like it wasn't such a big deal. I didn't want people to feel sorry for me. I just wanted to rant, like I do now.